The Narcissist And His Family

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Question: Is there a “typical” relationship between the narcissist and his family? Answer: We are all members of a few families in our lifetime: the one that we are born to and the one(s) that we create. We all transfer hurts, attitudes, fears, hopes and desires – a whole emotional baggage – from the former […]


Parenting The Irrational Vocation

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The advent of cloning, surrogate motherhood, and the donation of gametes and sperm have shaken the traditional biological definition of parenthood to its foundations. The social roles of parents have similarly been recast by the decline of the nuclear family and the surge of alternative household formats. Why do people become parents in the first […]


Narcissistic Leaders

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“It was precisely that evening in Lodi that I cam to believe in myself as an unusual person and became consumed with the ambition to do the great things that until then had been but a fantasy.” (Napoleon Bonaparte, “Thoughts”) “They may all e called Heroes, in as much as they have derived their purposes […]


Pathological Narcissism Psychosis And Delusions

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One of the most important symptoms of pathological narcissism (the Narcissistic Personality Disorder) is grandiosity. Grandiose fantasies (megalomaniac delusions of grandeur) permeate every aspect of the narcissist’s personality. They are the reason that the narcissist feels entitled to special treatment which is typically incommensurate with his real accomplishments. The Grandiosity Gap is the abyss between […]


Serial Killers

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Countess Erszebet Bathory was a breathtakingly beautiful, unusually well-educated woman, married to a descendant of Vlad Dracula of Bram Stoker fame. In 1611, she was tried – though, being a noblewoman, not convicted – in Hungary for slaughtering 612 young girls. The true figure may have been 40-100, though the Countess recorded in her diary […]


Narcissist Vs Psychopath

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We all heard the terms “psychopath” or “sociopath”. These are the old names for a patient with the Antisocial Personality Disorder (AsPD). It is hard to distinguish narcissists from psychopaths. The latter may simply be a less inhibited and less grandiose form of the former. Indeed, the DSM V Committee is considering to abolish this […]


The Intermittent Explosive Narcissist

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Narcissists invariably react with narcissistic rage to narcissistic injury. These two terms bear clarification: Narcissistic Injury Any threat (real or imagined) to the narcissist’s grandiose and fantastic self-perception (False Self) as perfect, omnipotent, omniscient, and entitled to special treatment and recognition, regardless of his actual accomplishments (or lack thereof). The narcissist actively solicits Narcissistic Supply […]


Misdiagnosing Narcissism Asperger S Disorder

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(The use of gender pronouns in this article reflects the clinical facts: most narcissists and most Asperger’s patients are male.) Asperger’s Disorder is often misdiagnosed as Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), though evident as early as age 3 (while pathological narcissism cannot be safely diagnosed prior to early adolescence). In both cases, the patient is self-centered […]


The Narcissist S Confabulated Life

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Confabulations are an important part of life. They serve to heal emotional wounds or to prevent ones from being inflicted in the first place. They prop-up the confabulator’s self-esteem, regulate his (or her) sense of self-worth, and buttress his (or her) self-image. They serve as organizing principles in social interactions. Father’s wartime heroism, mother’s youthful […]


Misdiagnosing Narcissism Generalised Anxiety Disorder Gad

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(The use of gender pronouns in this article reflects the clinical facts: most narcissists are men.) Anxiety Disorders – and especially Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD) – are often misdiagnosed as Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). Anxiety is uncontrollable and excessive apprehension. Anxiety disorders usually come replete with obsessive thoughts, compulsive and ritualistic acts, restlessness, fatigue, irritability, […]


The Narcissist As Eternal Child

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“Puer Aeternus” – the eternal adolescent, the semipternal Peter pan – is a phenomenon often associated with pathological narcissism. People who refuse to grow up strike others as self-centred and aloof, petulant and brattish, haughty and demanding – in short: as childish or infantile. The narcissist is a partial adult. He seeks to avoid adulthood. […]


Indifference And Decompensation In Pathological Narcissism

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The narcissist lacks empathy. Consequently, he is not really interested in the lives, emotions, needs, preferences, and hopes of people around him. Even his nearest and dearest are, to him, mere instruments of gratification. They require his undivided attention only when they “malfunction” – when they become disobedient, independent, or critical. He loses all interest […]


Addiction To Fame And Celebrity

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Question: Are Narcissists addicted to being famous? Answer: You bet. This, by far, is their predominant drive. Being famous encompasses a few important functions: it endows the narcissist with power, provides him with a constant Source of Narcissistic Supply (admiration, adoration, approval, awe), and fulfils important Ego functions. The image that the narcissist projects is […]


Reconditioning The Narcissist

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Question: You seem to be very sceptical that someone with a Narcissistic Personality Disorder can be treated successfully. Answer: The Narcissistic Personality Disorder has been recognised as a distinct mental health diagnosis a little more than two decades ago. There are few who can honestly claim expertise or even in-depth understanding of this complex condition. […]


Narcissism And Evil

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In his bestselling “People of the Lie”, Scott Peck claims that narcissists are evil. Are they? The concept of “evil” in this age of moral relativism is slippery and ambiguous. The “Oxford Companion to Philosophy” (Oxford University Press, 1995) defines it thus: “The suffering which results from morally wrong human choices.” To qualify as evil […]


The Spouse Mate Or Partner Of The Narcissist

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Question: What kind of a spouse/mate/partner is likely to be attracted to a narcissist? Answer: The Victims On the face of it, there is no (emotional) partner or mate, who typically “binds” with a narcissist. They come in all shapes and sizes. The initial phases of attraction, infatuation and falling in love are pretty normal. […]


The Malignant Optimism Of The Abused

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I often come across sad examples of the powers of self-delusion that the narcissist provokes in his victims. It is what I call “malignant optimism”. People refuse to believe that some questions are unsolvable, some diseases incurable, some disasters inevitable. They see a sign of hope in every fluctuation. They read meaning and patterns into […]


Dr Jackal And Mr Hide

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Narcissists are either cerebral or somatic. In other words, they either generate their Narcissistic Supply by applying their bodies or by applying their minds. The somatic narcissist flaunts his sexual conquests, parades his possessions, exhibits his muscles, brags about his physical aesthetics or sexual prowess or exploits, is often a health freak and a hypochondriac. […]


Lies People Tell

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All people lie some of the time. They use words to convey their lies while their body language usually gives them away. This is curious. Why did evolution prefer this self defeating strategy? The answer lies in the causes of the phenomenon. We lie for three main reasons and these give rise to three categories […]


Back To La La Land

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Relationships with narcissists peter out slowly and tortuously. Narcissists do not provide closure. They stalk. They cajole, beg, promise, persuade, and, ultimately, succeed in doing the impossible yet again: sweep you off your feet, though you know better than to succumb to their spurious and superficial charms. So, you go back to your “relationship” and […]